Written by: Tracy Hyon Shin
I was the first to arrive. There were twelve in total. A fashion designer, a corporate lawyer, a senior systems analyst, Ms. Korea, a jewelry designer, a resource writer, a triathlete, a financial consultant, a capoeira instructor, an award winning photographer, a dentist, and a freelance writer.
So let's take some guesses now, shall we. You tell me, what kind of a gathering was this? A professional networking group? Alcoholics Shopaholics Anonymous? Members of the jury?
If you said yes to any of the choices above, you are wrong (well technically, we can actually fit in all three groups, but...), for these twelve women are all members of KAM - Korean American Mommies group, connected through the fabulous KOKOliving's KAM page. And last thursday, these twelve So Cal KAMs decided to forgo cooking dinner for just one night, leave behind their crying babies and husbands, and gather together for a Girls-Night-Out dinner at the delectable Hokkaido Seafood Buffet in Long Beach, California.
Above: The four gals who actually showed up right on time!
Above: Group shot
And oh what a night it was! From piles of crab legs to dim sum to eye-popping conversations, it sure was a night to remember.
Now here's the thing, I don't care just how much fun single girls think they have when they go out for a Girls-Night-Out, cause there is nothing, and I mean n o t h i n g that they can do that is even remotely comparable to the amount of fun the mamas have when we go out for a GNO. Now before all you singles start rolling your eyes and swagging your fingers at me, please allow me to explain why:
REASON #1: For singles, "going out" happens whenever they want and however often they want. Heck, in my single years, I probably went out thursday to sunday every week of the month, rain or shine! But for moms, going out happens oh, I would say just about... once in every blue moon.
REASON #2: For singles, going out requires no planning in advance (well, other than maybe making reservations for a table). You call your friends, see if they are free, and then you go out, simple as that. But for moms, planning a "night out" sans kids takes as much meticulous planning as planning a dohl janchee (Korean First Birthday Celbration)! Not only must she find a date that works for herself and all her girlfriends, but it must also be a date that works for all the husbands involved as well (or else who's going to be home to take over baby duty?!). And if for whatever reason the husband cannot get his act together in time to get home early, mom must move to Plan B and attempt to find a reliable babysitter for the night. Now, this may sound simple enough for some of you, but do take my word for it, these days, you would have better luck finding a pair of Louboutins for under 300 dollars than you would finding a trustworthy nanny/babysitter.
And last but not least,
Reason #3: For singles, getting ready is a breeze. Let's face it, all you singles gals have closets that break down into the 20/80 ratio - twenty percent work attire, eighty percent "going out" attire. From the latest trends to the hottest picks, reality is, you own them all. So though you may dawdle for just a little while debating over what you should wear, we all know you make your selection from a mountainous load of options. But for moms, well, we also have our closets broken down to a ratio, but it's a bit more skewed, for it breaks down into sometime like 9 to 91. Yeah, nine percent recently purchased clothes and ninety one percent outdated, pre-pregnancy clothes. So the task at hand of finding something cute to wear for the night (as in, something some what fashionable and can fit on our new, rounded figures) is often considered harder to do than finding the cure for colic.
So you see, the point I'm trying to make here is that it doesn't really matter what we mamas do when we go out for our Girls-Night-Outs. We can be sitting in a cheap, AYCE Chinese buffet in the middle of ghetto-ton suburbia for all that matters, when it comes down to the scale-o-meter of fun, a stay-at-home mama will consider her one night out far more fun than whatever it is that you glamorous singles do, any day of the week.
*Whew!* Now that I've got all my pent up ranting out of my system here on this platform for all Mamas of America, I think I should just climb back down now and get back to last thursday night.
So, last thursday, knowing in advance that I would be writing this article, I intentionally sat right in the middle of our long twelve seater table. This way, I got the opportunity to listen in on all the micro-conversations that was taking place around me.
To tell you the truth, I don't even know where to start right now for just thinking about a few of the details discussed that night is making me giggle and turn red at this very moment....
The thing is, when I go out with my group of single girlfriends, it takes a few martinis before all of us loosen up and get (verbally) lewd. But with my mama friends, well, it seems to only take a few sips of water before these ladies get comfortable and let loose! In fact, there is never any alcohol involved when the So Cal KAMs go out, but ironically, they always take the cake for the wildest dinner conversations! Now why is this? Do we just lose all self censors and throw all shame out the window when we cross over into the land of motherhood? Have we all just reached the ultimate ahjuma status?
After some dwelling, I was able to reach only one explanation: We stay-at-home-moms are cooped up at home all day for so long with no adult interaction that when we do finally get out, all that pent up energy and craving of adult conversation comes erupting out of us like an explosion! Therefore, we have no inhibitions, no boundaries, and no censors. All lewd talk comes spewing out for the mere fact that there is (finally!) not one child in our presence. (Yes, I know, sounds like a lame explanation, but that is our reality).
So getting back to last thursday, even though we all knew the restaurant was packed (and we all know we have extremely loud voices), it didn't stop us from talking about sex, sex positions, who is having sex (and who is not), whom we would like to have sex with (Brad Pitt, anyone?), our ovulation cycles, circumcision, the best form of birth control, penis size, ethnic nannies, nanny agencies, best makeup remover (see, we do have some "normal" women talk; sometimes), lazy husbands, and dry vaginas.
Now, who at this time would like to know the fine details of these topics? For in fact, thanks to my superb memory, I can even repeat back to you word for word just some of what was discussed that night. It sure would give a terrific perspective into the minds of us stay-at-home-moms, don't you think?
But you know what, though I would just love to reveal all the juicy details of the mind blowing conversations we had that night here onto this article.... I will not. No, I must not, for I abide by the strict universal Girl-Code known to all women-kind (and I also don't want to get hunted down with sticks by these eleven fabulous women). So instead of leaving you with verbal details of the night, I'll leave you instead with just these fun pictures of the night, enjoy.
Above: Sarah and Jenny, what's so funny?
Above: Jeanette and Skippee, do share, what is so funny??
Above: And why do we Asian women love buffets so much??
Above: From left to right - Connie, Kathy, Jeanette, Jenny, Sarah, myself, Skippee, Helen, Sue, Yuewen, Caroline (missing Kayla in the picture).
**A big thank you to Connie and Caroline for planning this fun night, and thank you to everyone for coming out in the midst of all that LA traffic. Looking forward to seeing you all again, next month, at the Tava Lounge in Artesia (for any other So Cal KAMs interested in joining us for dinner on the first thursday of every month, please leave a comment at the end of this article and Caroline will get back to you with all the details).