Written By: Jeanie Chang
spreadshirt.com
My 8 year old son recently asked me why daddy couldn't stay home and I go to work? I asked him why did he want daddy to stay home? His answer was "I miss daddy all the time and don't see him much. Also, he's more fun than you." I was offended, to say the least. Hello, where's the love? I can be fun sometimes when I'm not disciplining or cooking or cleaning or doing laundry or helping with homework or telling the kids to practice piano. After I do all that, I CAN BE FUN!
Let's face it. In my family, I am indeed seen as the BAD COP. I do most of the disciplining. Not because my husband isn't good at it, but because I'm with the kids most of the time. In the evenings, when the need arises my husband does step up and discipline the kids and he does it well. We are on the same page when it comes to how we parent our children and we always show unity in front of the kids. This is very important. But for some reason, the kids don't seem to get as upset with their daddy. I even overheard my six year old tell my husband the other day quote, "It's mommy's turn to go to work now. When are you going to stop working?" My husband told him that he needed to go make money so they could have food and clothes, etc. My three year old must have been in on the conversation because he told his preschool teacher the other day that "daddy has to go to work and make moneys. Mommy just stays home and cooks and cleans." My son's teacher was laughing as she was telling me this. It sounds like even my baby thinks daddy is all that.
Between my husband and I, it's clear who is more Type A. You guessed it. I run a very tight ship in my house. Bedtime is strictly observed and dinner is always around 6 pm. Homework is done first, then piano and violin practicing. When there's some spare time, then it's reading to tackle. No Wii, no DS, no playtime really during the week. If I give them an inch, they take a MILE. So, no distractions or screens during the week at all.
When I have PTA meetings or evening commitments to attend, my husband is in charge and if the kids finish all their work and music practices and there's some spare time - he does let them have a little fun so my kids just remember that and he's their hero for life!
Mommies, are you the bad cop too? Or is daddy the bad cop? Do you and your husband have differences when it comes to parenting or disciplining your children? Some parental experts say they have issues with the whole "cop" thing. They say that parents don't need to be cops. They need to be coaches and teachers for their children. I couldn't agree more, but I use the term "cop" loosely - more as a metaphor.
Do you remember being young and asking your mom if you could do something and if the answer wasn't what you wanted, you went and then proceeded to ask your dad the same question to see if he would answer in your favor? I definitely remember doing that. I would actually ask my dad first because he was the disciplinarian in my family, then I'd ask my mom to see if I could get a different answer. She always said, "What did your dad say?"
I thought it was so funny when my daughter asked my husband if she could stay up late an extra hour and my husband told her "no" which seemed to surprise her. Then, she came over to me (not knowing I overheard) and asked the same question. I said, "What did daddy say?" LOL.
If you're a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom), it does make sense for you to be the primary disciplinarian and maybe labeled the "bad cop." As I said before, I agree parents should be coaches and teachers not so much "cops", but one of us has to make sure there's discipline and follow the rules, right?
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