Written By: Jeanie Chang
safekidskansas.org
If you have more than one child, I'm sure you can agree with that statement. Maybe your oldest is strong willed and second child is just relaxed as he/she can be. I read in a parenting book a long time ago (before I had kids) that you actually cannot parent or discipline each child the same way. It has taken me 10 years to finally get it!
You may have a child that responds really well with a time out or maybe time outs don't work for your child. Maybe you need to resort to a stronger form of discipline. Whatever the case, each child will respond and act differently. I'm learning to understand and accept my children's different personalities. My older two are more reserved and easy-going while my younger two (both boys) are very active. My youngest is also very strong-willed.
It's funny because I could say the same sentence to all four kids and receive different reactions! For instance, my second child and oldest son is very sensitive. If I have a hint of a sharp tone because I'm annoyed or frustrated and talk to him in that manner, he gets very upset and teary-eyed. Meanwhile, I have the same sharp tone and show the same annoyance and frustration to my daughter and my second son and they don't even blink an eye. My fourth child - he'd snap right back at me! LOL.
I'm writing this to remind myself that the differences in my children are special and should be appreciated. When my older two children were little, they were so shy that it irritated me because they wouldn't participate in any activities with other children. My younger two are so outgoing that I complain they're too active and talkative! LOL.
Each of my kids definitely respond to discipline in different ways. For instance, my daughter never understood that time outs were a form of punishment. If I told her to sit in the corner or go up to her room when she got in trouble, she actually enjoyed it! I'd find her sitting there singing and when she was sent to her room, she'd be reading or drawing. Time outs did not work for her so I had to resort to spanking. That worked for her!
On the flip side, my second and third sons would react like it was the end of the world when I sent them to time out and they would go kicking and screaming and crying all the way. I refused to let them come out of time out until they calmed themselves down! Worked like a charm for them because they hated time outs!
My fourth child, my 3.5 year old, is an interesting one. He doesn't seem to mind time outs or spanking! Believe it or not, what works for best for him when he's being disciplined is talking calmly and rationally with him and holding a conversation about what he did wrong and why! It takes a lot more patience for me to do that but I find it really helps him. Go figure.
How are your experiences with parenting and disciplining your child if you have more than one? Do you find that each child does in fact react differently to the same form of discipline? Do you have children with completely opposite personalities and you're wondering how they came from the same mom (and dad)? I wonder everyday. LOL. If they act up, I just think, "they take after their father!" LOL.
Each child is unique and should be appreciated for who they are. I'm trying to be mindful of that because when I get frustrated or annoyed or fed up, it's because I want to change the fact that my son is so active he won't sit still or my other son just wants to sit around all day playing Wii or DS or read a book or that my daughter is so laid back her room is a pigsty....the list goes on! But, this is who they are and of course I love them.
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Posted by: technomarine watches | December 9, 2010 at 08:57 PM