Written By: Jeanie Chang
workitmom.com
My daughter and oldest son are grounded. They are so in trouble only they don't know it yet. I'm waiting for them to get home from school and then they will be grounded - no play dates for a week. I just went into their rooms to put away some clean laundry and lo and behold - their rooms are DISASTER ZONES!!! Dirty clothes on the floor, beds unmade, stray papers and books all over the place and their nightstands have toothpaste on them. How is that possible? I'm livid because I just told them to clean their rooms a couple days ago and they told me they had. It was my fault for believing them, but being ages 10 and 8, I would think they are responsible enough to handle cleaning up their rooms on their own.
I can't believe how this phrase, "Clean up your room!" has become a staple in my house. Remember all those television shows you've watched growing up and seeing the moms tell their kids to clean their rooms? They would portray the mom in such a typical fashion that it seemed too typical to be real. Well, I believe it now because here I am telling my kids to clean their rooms. I say it almost every day!
So, now my kids are grounded for telling me they cleaned their rooms when they really did not. I'm thinking I need to change strategy here. I realize I need to come up with a reward system or provide an allowance of some sort to give them an incentive to clean their rooms and do other chores around the house. I can't believe my kids could be old enough to receive an allowance. Did you receive an allowance when you were growing up?
I never got an allowance because I grew up as a typical 2nd generation Korean American where the parents just dictated the rules and I obeyed grudgingly or rebelliously. I'm now thinking my older two children are at the age where they could receive an allowance to encourage and motivate them to do their part in contributing to our household. What are your thoughts on this?
I received some good insight from FamilyEducation.com. They suggest that assigning your child age-appropriate chores and providing a regular allowance teaches him/her responsibility and money management. The website offers many tips on why chores are important and how to fairly divide chores among family members. With four kids, I really could use help on this one! Of course my 3 year old is too young to understand the meaning of chores, but if I set a chore list for my other three kids - by the time he's ready, he'll have a better understanding of responsibility.
According to Family Education, it's highly recommended for parents to give their kids an allowance. Also, they suggest that the older kids receive more money than the younger kids which I think does make sense. I loved the section on "Getting Kids to Clean Their Rooms." Especially now.
I'm definitely going to use the tips they talk about:
1. Teach your child how to clean by incorporating him into your own cleaning. (What a great idea! I don't think I ever incorporate my kids into my own cleaning!!!)
2. Cleaning can be a lonely task, and for the social child, it may feel like a punishment instead of a way to contribute to the family. Become the clean team—make the jobs go faster by working together.
3. Plan a special activity or adventure for the family to celebrate a successful day of cleaning. It's not really a bribe—it's a treat! (I need to figure out a great way to celebrate with a fun family activity!)
The section also provides a clean room checklist which I think everyone needs to read. It's really helpful. That said, I'm all ready now to confront my kids when they come home from school. We're going to sit down and have a "nice" chat. I'll give them tips on how to clean their rooms, talk about giving them an allowance and then....I'll ground them.
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