Before you became a mom, did you have a "I'll never do this when I have kids" list? I'm sure you have! We all have our own ideas about what kind of mom we plan on being before we have children. So many of my friends, before they became moms, would say to me things like "When I have kids, I'll never do that" or "My child will not be like that" or "I'm going to be a very strict and organized mom" - yada yada yada.
When I encounter moms-to-be now and/or friends who say things like that, I just nod. I don't want to be condescending or a know-it-all, but you know what I'm thinking. I'm thinking, "Just you wait because you can't predict how you're going to be as a mom until you become a mom." Women really do not know what motherhood is like until they become a mother, don't you agree? Motherhood is so unpredictable. Just when you're comfortable - BAM - something changes on you!
I read a funny blog the other day from a mom who said she was a better mom BEFORE having kids. I chuckled at that one because I understood what she meant. Before we have kids, many of us have those lists of what we plan or don't plan on doing after we have kids. Some of the things on her list that really cracked me up were:
Never going to bribe my children to be on their best behavior
Never going to lose my cool during a temper tantrum
Never going to feed my children anything less than the healthiest, most organic, delicious food
Never going to give them a BS answer to any of their questions, no matter how challenging the answer
Are you laughing with me? Never say never, right? My kids still believe in the tooth fairy and Santa Claus and I'm giving them BS answers all the time so they'll continue believing. Sometimes, I'm just too tired to answer their questions so I'll just say, "because mommy said so." My kids' favorite place to eat? Chick Fil A. I have most definitely bribed my kids to be on their best behavior when we have company or we go out to restaurants, shows, etc. (It does work!) And I can't count how many times I lost my cool when my 3 year old has a temper tantrum especially over something so trivial like wanting to fix his socks because they're crooked. (Yes, he's a bit OCD)
My sister is a classic example of saying "I'm never going to...." She'd see me give my kids lollipops to quiet them down (BRIBE) or raise my voice (not quite a yell) when my kids have a temper tantrum and look a bit disapproving. Well, things changed when she became a mom. LOL. She even said to me and I wanted to record her saying this, "You don't know what motherhood is like until you become one." I was a mother for almost six years before she had her first child and as she watched me parent my children, I'm sure she was thinking those "I'm never going to do that..." LOL.
I think that having any kind of 'to do' list that starts with "I'm never going to" or "I'm always going to do" is never a good idea. It could stress you out and you might be disappointed. It's like that line from Forrest Gump. "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." That's what motherhood is all about. It's unpredictable, but so rewarding when you bite into that piece of chocolate. :)
Comments