Mommy - Blog & Shopping

Beyond Baby Bags

By: Michelle S.

When I had my first baby, I registered for a Graco diaper bag, and I used that bag until it ripped apart.  It matched my stroller, and I thought that was really cool.  Though there’s nothing wrong with carrying one, it was still a diaper bag.  I longed to be back to my old self, when I didn’t feel like a big blob in frumpy baggy clothes.  That’s when I started getting into different handbags.  I was used to seeing everyone carrying the typical designer bags, but they were still not calling my name… until a friend introduced me to an independent hand bag designer.  Then I fell in love.

It took awhile to figure my way around some of the independent designer names, so I wanted to share some of my findings over the past year.  I was able to score some real deals through different forums, deal sites, rock bottom sales, sample sales, sold a few things to afford them, and it’s all been really fun.  (I don’t currently have all of these, but I kept the photos.)  A lot of them I’ve used instead of diaper bags by using smaller organizer bags to separate smaller items.

*I do not represent any of these brand names nor have any affiliation with them.

Hayden-Harnett | Sloane satchel in steel metallic.  It has multiple hidden pockets and a beautiful silky lining. Hayden-Harnett is probably my favorite independent designer despite some of their problems delivering their items the past year.  Hopefully they will turn around, and continue to provide awesome bags in the A/W season.

Rebecca Minkoff | Morning After Mini Mini in violet. I really love the clean and classic lines, the beautiful smooshy leathers, and the sizes of her bags. This bag is a great size to go meet your girl friends for a coffee break.

Hayden-Harnett    |    Rebecca Minkoff

Junior Drake  |  Aurora satchel in bronze. It has a messenger strap too so you can sling it for when you’re running after your kids. Junior Drake uses nice leathers, well-made, and they do embellishments well.

Not Rational  |  Christina crossbody in eggplant metallic. Not Rational makes great leather baby bags, but this is my favorite style of all time.  I love crossbody bags since they allow me to be hands free to chase my kids around. What’s great about Not Rational bags is that their leathers are so soft, vibrant in color and so lightweight.

Junior Drake  |  Not Rational

49 Square Miles  |  Clingy wallet in turquoise.  49 Sq Mi is a brand that’s based off San Francisco, and their leathers are just TDF (aka “to die for” in purse circles). The details on their bags and accessories are impeccable, and their leathers look even better with age.

There are more that I want to try out in the future, but I wanted to share some that I’ve tried out. Don’t be afraid to shop independent. You might find a great designer in the rough. As a WAHM, I love to support designers that are up and coming. I hope this will inspire to go beyond your comfort zones, bring out that hot mama in you, and have you slinging some fun bags. One great thing about haute bags – you can hide behind their loveliness.

By: Michelle S.

Practicing the Balancing Art of Motherhood

 

Words and Photos by: Michelle EunJiSon Schlensker

One of my favorite tv shows to watch is "The Dog Whisperer" on the Discovery Channel.  I had a little puppy, half Shi-Tzu and half miniature pincher, named "Shin" which was short for SHI-tzu mini-piN. It’s also short for “shin-bahr” aka shoes in Korean. He was this adorable little thing that fit into our hands when he was a few weeks old. He came with kennel cough, and the poor thing lay on my feet like shoes for warmth, so the name stuck. He soon became a part of the family, but as he grew into adolescence, he started having a will of his own. He thought he was the biggest dog in the neighborhood, challenging bigger dogs at the park, he would growl and bark at anyone who came close to our house… even if it meant they were walking on the sidewalk two buildings away. He soon became annoying and not as cute as he used to be, not that we loved him any less. It was obvious that he needed “boundaries and limitations” as Cesar likes to say.

The reason I mention the show is not just because I love it, but it often reminds me that the principles from that show can be applied to my life. The way that Cesar has a calm assertive energy about him as he works with the problem dogs is inspiring. I wish I could have as much calm assertiveness as I parent my two little ones as he does with his dogs in the “red zone.” Another reason I love the show is also because the show teaches balance. You quickly see that it’s not about the dog or its problems. It’s about the owner’s problems and hang-ups. Cesar works with the owners more than he does with the dogs it seems, and he shows them how to be balanced people which will help their dogs to be balanced.

Though the show is about dogs, I think it can also apply to our roles as mothers. The more balanced, and calm I am, it will reflect upon my children. Of course there are exceptions, and it may be too simplifying, but I think there are some truths that we can bring to our mothering. How many times have we seen kids throwing tantrums on the floor of a shop (probably also our own) and a mother yelling at them to get up or even hitting them in public? I once saw a man at the ER cussing his little son out because he was taking too long gathering up his baby sister’s belongings, and I cringed inside at the kind of energy this father was modeling for his son. There are many times, when I lose my temper and yell at my kids to stop hitting each other or to get in the car when we’re late for an appointment. And when I stop to evaluate why I’m yelling, it’s because I’m not balanced. I’m not being calmly assertive. I’m focused more on what needs to be accomplished, not on gracious parenting.

What is gracious parenting?

-       It’s not about performance, but about the process. It’s going through each moment and handling each moment with graciousness. 

-       It’s remembering that each moment for a child means something different as she develops, as his brain changes. What was the same yesterday may mean something different today.

-       It’s remembering to give YOURSELF grace for failing to be the parent you want to be. We often get so down when we are not that super mom we so desire to be. It’s hard when the next mom you meet seems so put together.

How do you practice the balancing art (not act) of motherhood?  Here are some practical tips that I’ve picked up over the years, though I’m always searching for more.

Newborn –  6 mo old: Your life’s turned upside down. This bundle of joy that arrived with a lot of pain takes over your life, and you’re just trying to keep afloat. If you’re mastering it already, good for you! But if you’re not, here are some things to consider. With one subsequent child, it gets exponentially more difficult. It’ll be easier for you with the first child than it will be having 2 or more closer in age. Here are some practical tips:

-       Find someone to come and help out at least once a week. Even if it’s to come for an hour so that you can get a nap in or that you won’t have to change the baby’s diaper will give you a chance to be more balanced. Don’t feel like you HAVE to do it alone. Reach out for help.

-       Get professional help with breastfeeding. Some hospitals have free or inexpensive lactation support for up to 3mo or more, and there’s always La Leche League. Breastfeeding can cause so much stress, and it should be a great bonding experience. If you’ve chosen to formula feed, remember that it’s still a bonding time, not just food time.

-       If you can get your husband to help out on the weekends, stock up for the week. Make rice and freeze them in bags in small portions to heat up during the week. Go grocery shopping ALONE without the baby just so you can get some time to yourself.

-       You can wear your baby so you can be more hands free to do things like putting clothes in the laundry. I showered my baby as I took a shower by putting him into a solarveil (mesh-like) pouch. I didn’t even bother filling up a bucket to bathe him like I did with my first baby. It was hard enough getting a shower in. I wrapped my son on to myself and nursed him as I did chores.

 

6mo – 1 yr old: Your baby is starting to sit up on their own, and they can be entertained easily. Your body is starting to come back to its regular shape, and you’re feeling more like yourself, hopefully. J  Nearing 1 yr old, they’ll start to crawl, cruise and walk.

-       Get yourself a play pen to keep your baby safe, and spend a few moments just reflecting on the miracle that your child is or even take a quick cat nap.

-       Jot down all the friends you used to hang out with before you had your kids. Contact them for a coffee date, and have your hubby watch them for an hour while you go catch up WITHOUT your kids.

-       Get an annual pass to a park/zoo/kids museum. It’ll come in handy when you need some fun time.

-       Get a good baby carrier that you can wear your baby on your back so you can get back to cooking and cleaning.

 

1 – 2 yrs old: Your toddler is now starting to express his will, and she will start to push their boundaries. Each child is different, but here are some things to consider.

-       Write down with your husband the rules of the house so you’re on the same page. Stick by those rules the best you can, but don’t get too angry or upset when it doesn’t work out.

-       Being consistent, looking at the child in the face when you remind them the rules in a calm-assertive manner will help him to understand what you want even if she decides to break the rule.

-       Talk with your husband what the discipline will be if those rules are broken. My husband came from a family where hitting a child in the face or the lips for speaking in an unacceptable manner was okay. I’m not okay with it, and my husband knows that. Funny though how the way you were brought up will come so easily to you. I came from a family of yellers. We both work at not doing what we’re used to.

-       This is also the time when their nap schedules will start to change. It’ll be hard to adjust, but remember not to get too frustrated with your child. Their brain is changing. They’re growing up! Go with the flow, and figure out a different schedule for yourself and for him. Take a deep breath. J You need a nap but he won’t take a nap. Put on a dvd and cuddle her as you sleep a little. Wipe the drool off the couch when you wake up. ;)

 

2 -5 yr old: They will perfect the skills they’ve started to learn. Around 3-4, they may be ready to go to preschool.  And at 5 year old, they’re much more independent, and you can ask more of them.

-       Be diligent about what and how you speak to your child since they will repeat things you say. When they start throwing a fit, look at them in the eyes. Smile, and give them a big hug. Snap them out of their funk by tickling them. Yelling rarely works. It’ll make them angry at your or act out the same anger on others. Shutting them up will make them more frustrated. Poke them, sing a happy song, do something to get their attention away from what they’re feeling. Ask them to tell you how they feel or what they want.

-       Try to explain the reason behind your decisions. Even if they don’t understand, they will see that you do not do things just because you spite them even if they act like they hate you.

-       Jot down what their favorite things are. Remember to treat them when they do something good. Don’t always focus on the negative.

-       With the older kids, you can start to reward them for doing chores around the house. My daughter gets quarters every time she does something to help clean up. Her father gives her nickels.  It’s a good thing she doesn’t know what it means yet. J

-       Avoid processed sugars as it’ll make them even more tired and unmanageable after being hyper.

 

I can’t say for more than 5 yr olds since my eldest is that age. J I guess I will be updating this blog post once we reach the older ages. But I do have to say, that newborn – 5 years before they go off to school is an important and exhausting period of their lives for you as a mother. Do the best you can, but don’t come down on yourself too hard if you fail in areas. It matters that you care.

Remember to practice, as Cesar says, “Exercise, discipline, then affection,” and exude “calm assertive energy.” That goes for us and for our children. Don’t lose yourself in your mothering, as finding yourself in the midst of the chaos will make you a better mother.

-Michelle EunJi

Wife, mother of 2, owner of www.3treedesign.com, www.greenthumbfabrics.com, www.uhboohbahbaby.com

 

FREE Udders Covers - for the nursing mom

Thanks to Pauline M, we've got the greatest deal online. Besides having to pay for S&H ($9) you'll be getting a FREE Udders Cover for the nursing mom - a $32 value. Use the code: "family2010". I just ordered mine and it went through even with the Backorder notices under each Udders Cover Photo in their shop page. Great as a baby shower gift and for yourself. Don't miss this deal!

Description:
We at Udder Covers® are committed to making the most dependable nursing cover on the market. It’s simple. We want you to have a product that will cover you where you need it and yet still allow you to have eye contact with your baby - all while wearing something chic and stylish.

Each of our nursing covers is marked with our signature Udder Covers™ logo.

Our rigid neckline gives you direct eye contact with baby.
Our fabrics are made of 100% breathable cotton.
Stainless steel d-rings allow fully adjustable neckline.
Machine washable.

T.A.K.E. For Mommies

By Jeanie Chang


Jeanie Chang is in the middle of this photo.

I’ve always enjoyed dreaming big and planning everything and anything!  Considering myself to be a near expert multi-tasker, I knew that even with four kids, I could still accomplish a lot.  Whether it be 14 loads of laundry one morning while writing two newsletters and organizing church events or coming up with an idea and following through with it.  That’s what happened with T.A.K.E. For Mommies – the Triangle American-Korean Exchange.

I grew up as a typical second generation Korean-American with parents who came to the States in 1974, after I was born in Seoul, Korea.  My parents were probably just as strict as any other first generation Korean, but they did a great job acclimating themselves to the American culture and blended in very well.  Our household was a good balance of Korean and American culture. Even though I went through the same identity crisis as anyone else might have, now that I’m a mother, I realize my parents really did an excellent job assimilating into American society without losing their Korean identity.   My sister and I spoke English with my parents and my father doesn’t have a hint of an accent.  But, we grew up practicing all the Korean traditions, eating all the food, etc. 

My upbringing brings me to share about how T.A.K.E. For Mommies started.  I currently live in Raleigh, NC with my husband and four kids, but we moved four years ago from the Washington, DC metro area where Korean-Americans, Korean grocery stores and restaurants were in abundance.  Prior to that, I went to college in New York at NYU so I was surrounded by Koreans there!  That definitely is not the case here in Raleigh.  But, I’m not complaining.  I think it is healthy to surround yourself with friends from different ethnicities, backgrounds and cultures.   In the past four years, I have encountered many different Korean women from various backgrounds and cultures.  Some of them are like me and some are not.  For instance, I had never met a Korean woman who was adopted until I moved here!  Also, there are women who grew up like I did and married a non-Korean so their children may have different cultural experiences than mine.  I was meeting all these wonderful women who have Korean heritage and I wanted to somehow bring us all together and share our experiences and our lives.  After toying with the idea for a couple years as well as receiving encouragement from a friend, T.A.K.E. For Mommies was born! 

With the help of another friend, the name T.A.K.E. came about.  You may be wondering about the “American-Korean” part of it.  I’m not trying to be politically incorrect or create political drama here, but I’m referring to how we identify culturally.  In all honesty, when it comes to culture, I identify first as an American.  Even considering the way I grew up (with first generation parents), English was the main language spoken at home.  We followed all the American traditions and of course, almost all the Korean traditions and I knew everything about the Korean culture.  BUT, I learned to identify myself as an American.  The same is true for my household today.  My kids speak English and know a few Korean words here and there.  J  (They will be going to Korean school sometime in the near future).  I cook more Korean food than I do American and we still follow most of the Korean traditions in my house, but culturally, my kids are American. 

With T.A.K.E., I wanted to reach out to all women with Korean heritage in the Triangle.  (That’s what we call this general area.)  I wanted to reach out to women like me and women who were adopted.  Women who grew up like I did, but married a non-Korean whose kids are having different cultural experiences than mine.  I wanted to reach out to women who did not have the typical Korean-American upbringing.  I yearned for to experience diversity even amongst women who are all Korean.  There are so many wonderful life experiences to share amongst us!  I desire T.A.K.E. to build strong friendships, relationships and an empowering community.  We are in the beginning stages having had two gatherings to date, but I also want T.A.K.E. For Mommies to make a powerful impact in the area in which we live.  At our first gathering in March, we discussed community service projects and it was great to see the women excited about it as well! J   We hope to embark on this in the near future.   

There were 12 women at our first gathering and 10 women last month!  We are having ladies nights like we’ve never experienced before.  I’ll share more about our first two gatherings soon.  For those of you in the RTP, please join our Facebook fanpage so you can know about our meetings and events:

Visit T.A.K.E. on facebook here.

By Jeanie Chang

 

Our Little "Miracle" :: Part Three (Final Chapter)

By: Jennie Won Kim   |   "Our Little 'Miracle' :: Part One   |  Part Two

Alternatives...  We started to look into other options and weighed the pros and cons.  We discussed adoption and met with Holt International and realized that this might be a good fit for us but, it was costly and we had to consider the rest of the family's feelings and reaction.  If we were going to bring a child into our lives, I wanted to make sure that the people we had to see all the time would be on board and would love our child no matter where he or she came from.  IVF was costly as well, it would take a tremendous toll on my body, and isn't guaranteed.  Up until now, we hardly had any out of pocket expenses (thanks to my husband's health benefits) and the two options left was either to adopt or try IVF.  What should we do???  Adoption and IVF cost about the same.  Adoption would guarantee us a child, but IVF would not.  Adoption would not give me the chance to experience a pregnancy as IVF would.  Adoption would not wreak havoc on my body with more drugs like IVF would.  Adoption wasn't something that the in laws supported, but IVF was. 

Decisions...  I started the research and realized that IVF's success rates were a lot lower than I had thought.  I also didn't realize that the adoption process could possibly be a very long wait.  After much prayer, discussion, and figuring cost.  We decided to give IVF a shot.  We didn't want to look back and wonder "what if" without giving it a try.  We had tried everything else, so why not!  We would do IVF and if it didn't work, then adoption would still be there.  We went to a new clinic that others had referred us to during the fall of 2008.  The paper work, the list of drugs, the cost, the contracts, the list of tests seemed endless.  What did we get ourselves into?  We were starting to feel a little overwhelmed.

Wow!  We were really doing this.  I was nervous.  I wanted everything to go perfectly.  The drugs had to be administered at just the right time everyday.  There were a lot more drugs and needles and a lot more places that I had to be injected.  More poking and more prodding.  The time finally came for my eggs to be harvested, yup, they had to go in and take out my eggs.  I didn't realize that this would be a procedure done under anesthesia, it was like surgery.  You go in early, they prep you and wheel you into the "operating room" and I was immediately knocked out.  (That was really weird, if only I could fall asleep like that every night!)  When I woke up, I was back in the recovery room with my husband sitting by my bed.  I felt like I was hit by a train.  My abdomen felt raw and I was so groggy.  I can't remember the names of all the meds they put in my IV, but I do remember feeling nauseated and wanting to sleep the entire rest of the day.  The good news was that they were able to take out 12 eggs.  Wow, 12! 

The number of eggs they find vary, some women can have as little as 1 or as many as over 20.  They don't know how many they'll find until they go inside and I was told that 12 was a good number!  After a few hours, we were allowed to leave and would have to return in a few days for my embryos to be put back inside.  We had to wait for the phone call and make sure that we had embryos that would multiply at the correct rate by the third day, if not, we would have to wait 5 days.  They called us in on the third day and told us 8 embryos made it.  Obviously we wouldn't use all 8, they chose the best 3 and recommended that we go with those 3.  The doctor has to warn you about ALL the possibilities.  Here's a short list of what could happen:

      1. All three embryos could implant and we might have triplets.
      2. Two or one of the embryos could implant which would give us twins or a singleton.
      3. One of more of the embryos could split and we might have multiples.
      4. None of the embryos would implant.

After much discussion, my husband and I decided to transfer 2 embryos.  We asked for only 2 because we were scared of the other possibilities.  They also encourage you to selectively reduce if you have 3 or more embryos that may implant.  Selective reduction was out of the question so, 2 sounded like an ideal number.  We were praying for both of these babies and if God decided to give us twins, we were sure he would provide us strength and wisdom along with it.  Either way, we prayed for a pregnancy. 



They chose the best two embryos and transferred them on New Year's Day of 2009.  What a great way to start the year!  I was in pain from the procedure, but we were definitely hopeful and went home and were very cautious.  I should mention that during the transfer process, they make you drink a ton of water so they can use the ultrasound.  Those of you who had this done when you were pregnant at 20 weeks will remember how uncomfortable this is, but try having a speculum inside you along with the catheter to transfer the embryos.  It was pretty painful, I thought I was going to wet the table.  After this, instead of being able to go to the restroom to let out all of that fluid, you have to wait on the table and relax for at least 30 minutes.  Can you imagine trying to relax while holding the gallon of water you consumed?  Thankfully I made it to the restroom without an accident.

They told me to stay in bed for 3 days and not to lift anything over 5 pounds for 6 weeks.  I had to go back in a couple weeks for a blood test and a second blood test a few days after that to measure my hCG levels.  They would then call us to let us know if we were pregnant.  I was very careful.  Every step, every move I made was done very gingerly and my husband made sure that I didn't have to lift a finger (this I could get used to).  The day you have your embryos transferred, you also start your progesterone shots to help maintain the pregnancy.  These shots continue until your eighth week.  Here I thought that all the needles would be over with, only to have this thick oil injected into your rear.  I didn't know what was worse, the big fat needle or the oil that would clump up on your rear and cause pain while walking, sitting, laying, no matter what you did, the constant nagging pain wouldn't go away.  After a couple of weeks I was nearly in tears and called my nurse to see if there was any other alternative, there was no way I could go back to work with this kind of pain.  She recommended a more costly suppository.  Great, now I had to place something inside twice a day.  It was pretty messy and icky, but thankfully no pain involved.

Since we only used 2 of our embryos, the rest of the 6 were left with the clinic and they had to wait and see which of them would make it to day 8.  We had the transfer done on day 3 so, 5 days later they called us and told us only 1 had made it to the blast stage.  So from 12 eggs we were down to the two that were implanted and the one that was frozen for possible future implantation.  I was quite surprised that there were so few left, I wondered what happens to those women who only retrieve a small number of eggs.  Do those women have to start all over again?  I felt for those couples who had to do this over and over again.  One thing was certain, my husband and I decided that if this didn't work, we wouldn't be able to do it again.  The hormones, the pain involved with all the procedures and shots were too much. 

During this process I did my share of complaining, I would vent and say how unfair this all was.  So many get pregnant, they even have unwanted pregnancies and I knew that my husband and I would be great parents.  For us to not be allowed to experience this gift that so many take for granted really made me mad.  Never mind the fact that as a teacher I saw a lot of neglected children come through my classroom.  Why God???  How come they get to have children that they can't seem to take care of and we who so desperately want a child cannot have one?  When you're on all these hormones, your emotions are heightened and I would get emotional even at the sight of a baby.  We continued to pray, please let this work!

A couple weeks had gone by and the first blood test was drawn.  A few days later, the second blood test was done.  I just needed to wait patiently for the phone call.  This waiting felt like an eternity.  Oddly, it was worse since I was still on vacation, school would have been the perfect distraction.  Finally, the call came... our appointed nurse was on the other end and said, "Congratulations, looks like you're pregnant!"  We were so thankful that it had worked, especially since it was our first time doing IVF, so many couples are not this fortunate.  Now my mind was racing with constant worrisome thoughts again.  "What if I miscarry again?"  This question kept haunting me.  I still had to wait a couple of weeks before I could go in for the ultrasound.  Being on vacation the entire month of

January was a blessing (in case you're wondering why I'm on vacation in January, I work at a year round school) which allowed me to focus on staying off my feet.  The day finally came for us to go and have our ultrasound.  We were both nervous and excited!  We got to see our little peanut (literally, our baby looked like a peanut in a round pod).  I thought I would become emotional, but to my surprise, I think I was a little dumbfounded.  A part of me was cautious, not wanting to get too excited and another part was in disbelief.  Really?  Am I really pregnant?  I didn't feel any different, nor did I look different.  The fact didn't quite settle in.  This time, instead of telling everyone that we were pregnant, we waited quietly.  We told our immediate family, but aside from that, I didn't even mention to my friends that we had even done IVF.  At the end of our first trimester, I finally told our friends and was able to breathe that sigh of relief.  We had made it through that first trimester hurdle.  We were going to have this baby!!!

Overall the pregnancy was a pretty good one.  I don't have anything else to compare it to, but I wasn't really sick or in pain, I guess is went well.  Throughout the pregnancy I figured that since all was going well that our baby's arrival would be just as smooth.  I didn't really read too much about all the "what ifs" that could happen during labor so, I wasn't prepared about what options I had.  I guess I figured that since it was so hard to conceive, the labor and delivery would go pretty well.  Watching my sister in laws (both of them) made me think that labor was no big deal, they delivered their babies without difficulty and I foolishly thought the same.  Even my sister in law who had a cesarean, did so without any issues and she did great, she didn't even require any pain medication at all!  So all I really knew about labor and delivery was that your water should break, you go in and either baby comes out after pushing for a little while or they will cut you open and take out the baby.  Women all over the world for years and years have been giving birth, it can't be too hard.  Pretty basic and simple stuff, right? 



On September 22, 2009, we were blessed with the arrival of Connor Alexander Kim.  He did not want to leave his cozy home of 40 weeks and was forced to be evicted, but he did finally arrive with some complications.  I was in labor for about 45 hours, it started the night before I was scheduled to be induced.  I was already approaching my due date and feeling pretty uncomfortable and not being able to sleep so I asked my OB to induce me on his due date if he didn't arrive on his own.  Well, he still wasn't showing signs of coming.  Sunday night, my mom had flown up and we were ready to go to the hospital at 6am Monday morning. 

As I was getting ready for bed, around 10pm, I started to feel a lot of pressure and pain.  I thought it was from being on my feet all day and figured that I was going in the next morning so everything should be fine.  I tried to sleep, no luck, sleep was not my friend that night.  All night I tossed and turned wondering why I was in pain.  I expected contractions to feel like something entirely different and didn't even suspect that I was having contractions.  Around 4am, I started to get ready and was in a LOT of pain.  We got to the hospital and they looked at me and asked, "Are you in labor?"  It just dawned on me that I was in labor, I nodded.  We were finally in the delivery room, I was hooked up and the nurse told me that my contractions were 3-4 minutes apart.  As I lay in the bed, I felt really wet.  I told the nurse that I think something is happening because I feel wet.  She looked and said, oh, your water broke and the baby pooped.  Oh great, now I was worried.  That can't be good if baby had already pooped in the amniotic fluid. 

So here we were waiting for me to dilate because the contractions were getting stronger.  No such luck, I was not dilating.  They started the epidural and eventually started the pitocin since I was still at 2cm after several hours.  I eventually made it to 10cm and pushed like I had never pushed in my entire life for about 5 1/2 hours.  Baby was sunny side up and apparently stuck at my pelvic bone.  The nurse I had was not sympathetic at all and just said, "All first time moms are supposed to push for this long!"  Oh and for some reason, the nurse at the prior shift turned off my epidural and left the pitocin on, so my contractions were 5-7 minutes long with a minute in between for me to catch my breath.  Somewhere in the midst of pushing, I begged for a cesarean, Connor wasn't coming out.  The doctor attempted the vacuum after telling me that baby was so close and she was sure he would make it out if we tried it.  The machines started beeping and everyone started to move really fast, they said Connor's heart rate was dropping.  So all that work and doing the vacuum only to have an emergency cesarean. 

As I lay waiting while my body started to shake uncontrollably, I turned to my husband and said, "Just as hard as it was to create Connor, it's just as hard to bring him into the world."  I realized then that he is truly a special baby.  He is destined for great things, his creation and arrival was met with so many obstacles.  Even after his birth, he was taken to the care unit because he had trouble breathing.  I wasn't able to see my son for nearly 20 hours.  Thankfully for morphine, I didn't realize what Connor was going through, if I was aware, I think I would have been an emotional mess.  After a week of being in the hospital, we were all given the clear to be discharged!  Yeah!  Everything turned out okay!

I am so thankful and blessed that God has allowed me to be Connor's mommy.  Despite the long journey to get to this point, Connor could not have come into our lives at a better time.  With the years of longing and waiting, it has given us a better appreciation for every little thing that Connor does.  I love being able to enjoy this precious life that I get to watch grow before me everyday.  I can just stare and watch Connor for hours and am so full of love.  There used to be couples who would say to us, "Oh, just be thankful that you don't have kids, you'll never have your own life again."  I really hated it when people would say that to us, now, I just feel sad for them.  How can you live life any other way?  Everything I had hoped and dreamed about motherhood, it's actually so much better than I could have ever imagined it to be. 

Connor is an amazing little guy and we hope to give him a sibling, actually a couple of siblings.  We don't know if it's possible, but we will continue to pray and hope that God will allow our little family to grow.  Maybe his brother or sister that's waiting for us at the clinic will be able to come home with us one day!

Thank you Connor for allowing me the opportunity to be your mommy and for giving me the most amazing gift of you!  I love you more than words can ever express and my heart is flooded with joy each time I look at your beautiful face!

By: Jennie Won Kim   |   "Our Little 'Miracle' :: Part One   |  Part Two

Thank you Jennie for sharing your miraculous story! We can't wait to hear more on how Connor is growing and maybe even a brother or sister? Readers... Stay tuned! Leave a comment for Jennie here. She'd love to hear from you!

Michelle Schlensker of 3 Tree Designs | Profile

Interview from www.TheBabyWearer.com

:: Michelle and her family ::

Michelle Schlensker owns 3Tree Design, an online shop focused on bringing products to the modern family that are eco-friendly, comfortable and affordable. Read our interview to learn more about Michelle's life as a busy mom in Southern California as well as her early experiences as a worn child in Korea.

Describe your business.
3Tree Design is a family owned business that grew out of love for my family. Our business focus is to bring products for the modern family that's eco-friendly, comfortable and affordable. The main product so far is the Anaju Wrap that's made from organic bamboo and organic cotton. If you've ever felt any organic clothing, you'll know how uber soft these wraps are.

When we decided to cloth diaper our youngest son, we discovered the benefit of bamboo fabrics. It's eco-friendly, affordable, lightweight, highly absorbent, and it has properties that would make a great baby wrap so the Anaju Wrap became our first product in a line of products. We try to think of products that will make lives easier for busy moms and dads and caretakers, but we also keep the environment in mind when designing products for 3Tree Design. It's another way to love my family, to give them a better life.

We are in the midst of designing and testing our Posy Pocket Folds which will be affordable prefolds that will have a pocket in the middle to add more absorbancy. Prefolds are always a favorite with budget savvy parents, so we want to bring the great properties of bamboo fabrics to the world of prefold users. Along with these great products, we will add some accessories from other manufacturers that we've come to love ourselves so that one day 3Tree Design will be a great source for eco-friendly products for your babies.

Tell us a bit about where you live.
We love living in the suburbs of Southern California. We're only half an hour from Disneyland, an hour or so from Los Angeles or San Diego, half an hour from major airports, four hours from Las Vegas, a road trip from San Francisco or south of the border. It is a busy and bustling area, as there's a lot of commuting since everything is spread out, but it's more relaxed than living in the heart of a big city like LA. There's the beaches, hot summer days, cool evenings, drizzling rain when we're lucky and oh, how can we forget earthquakes. It's easy to meet up with other babywearing parents, and we often have spur of the moment get togethers to share our new fluffies while enjoying the sun.

Tell us a bit about your family.
I'm Michelle, a busy stay at home mom to two young kids, and Tim, my husband, is a Marriage and Family Therapy Intern at two Christian Counseling centers. He's also a Starbucks barista early in the morning, so he often brings me a nice free drink to start my busy day.

I'm a naturalized Korean-American, and Tim is a 5th or 6th generation German-American. We have been babywearing, breastfeeding and co-sleeping every since my daughter was born, and we finally got up the courage to part-time cloth diaper and use cloth wipes when our son was born two years ago. We have found all those ways to be attached to our kids have helped us to bond with our children, but we encourage any way you can to love your child. We don't push attachment parenting to others though we see the benefits, but as Christians we follow what we think would be God honoring and encourage others to love one another especially their children.

How long have you been in business?
I started out with my UhBoohBahBaby business about four years ago, so I'm not a newby on TBW. I began the 3Tree Design endeavor about a year ago.

What is the most challenging thing about manufacturing/selling baby carriers?
I think the most challenging thing about selling baby carriers is that it's a very niche market. Everyone has their own preference, and with so many great options out there, it's more challenging to market your products as more unique. Also with such big stores to compete with, it's difficult to convince people to purchase your product when they can easily add an item to their registry they've never tried with the push of a scanner.

What is the most rewarding thing about manufacturing/selling baby carriers?
I love it when a mama tries on the wraps and oohs about how ultra soft and snuggly it is. And when she pops in her little one (especially the ones that need a good nap and are cranky), and the baby calms down right away as she snuggles against her like that's what she's wanted all along.

Tell us about your personal babywearing journey.
Wow, my personal babywearing journey started way back when I was worn in Korea. I remember being on my mom's back in a traditional Korean podaegi, and how it was so comfortable being with her. Not only with her, but I was worn by anyone that was available. Knowing how awesome babywearing is, I can't help but to promote that with anyone I come in contact with. I convinced my SIL to babywear. She purchased a custom modern pod and is still wearing her almost 2yo DD and is planning on ordering one for her co-worker with her expectant baby in June or purchasing the Anaju Wrap.



How do you balance your personal and professional life?
I think it's easy to mix the two when you're still babywearing. When I'm out with my girlfriends, they see I'm wearing my son still at 2yo, and it's an easy way to talk about my business. We have a very hectic schedule most of the time as Tim is juggling 4 part time jobs currently. I have 3 businesses with one being on hiatus, so we do a lot of tag team parenting. When he's home for a few hours, I try to relax to gain energy to do some work and take care of the kids until after 10pm when he comes back home. He puts them to bed if he's back early, and I take care of more business so that orders can go out by morning. I've found Facebook to be a great way to connect with other busy mom friends, to support each other and to schedule times to meet with each other. I try to get out to see others at least once a week. Having friends who also share the same loves makes it easier to keep going.

What do you see for the future of babywearing?
I'm not quite sure yet. If this was asked maybe 2-3 years ago before all the negative publicity sprang up, I probably would have come up with a quicker response. However, I think we as a babywearing community will need to step up more in the future to educate people. It's a great moment for us to step back and remember ourselves about the fundamentals of babywearing so that others will not give up on wearing our children out of fear.

Describe your favourite babywearing memory/moment(s).
My favorite babywearing moment is whenever the babies relax their bodies then you either hear or feel their breath on your body as they're comfortably sleeping. It tells me they trust me, they feel comfortable and it's natural.

What do you feel is the biggest challenge in getting carriers into the hands of new parents?
New parents (just like myself when I first started) get overwhelmed with a lot of things when they have a newborn on their hands. So choosing a baby carrier is not the first thing they're thinking about usually. Most of the time, they're reaching for carriers that they registered for, and someone else gave them. I think most parents like myself included start researching for a new carrier when their back starts hurting from using the popular babycarriers. I would love for babywearing families to start giving my Anaju Wraps as baby shower gifts so that they'll have the option of choosing that when they bring their new baby home.

Anything else you’d like to add?
Please don't forget to fan our Facebook page:
www.facebook.com/3treedesign for news and updates!!