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A School Principle + Mommy | Rebekah Kim

Written by: Rebekah Kim
Photos of Rebekah Kim's family

I am in my 10th year of education and am almost to the end of my 5th year of being a principal of an elementary school of 550 children (K-6). I attended a total of 7 years of college at University of Washington, ending with my Master of Educational Leadership and Policy Studies. I am now pursuing my doctorate in education to broaden my experience with more research-based methods to improve my instructional leadership. During my principalship I have had two children. Balancing motherhood, marriage and my career is a lot of work. Having a supportive and helpful husband has been essential. I find stress relief in exercise and spending time relaxing with my family.

Since I have become a principal my advocacy for diversity and equity have grown. I have been blessed with the opportunity to serve on our state principal association's diversity task force as well as district cultural competency committee and am currently helping to work on refining our race and equity board policy.

As a mother, it is has become easier for me to work with parents and think about their perspective when dealing with issues and concerns about what is best for their child while keeping their academic experience at the forefront. Wearind both the parenting and educator hat has been an eyeopener when you align the two. I continue to think "if this were my child's school or I was in the seat of the parent, how would I be feeling?" I continue to be humbled as I work through this daily.

Here is an article that was written about me in a local Asian newspaper a couple of years ago, the International Examiner. I think it does a nice job of summarizing my passion in education:

Principal Rebekah Kim: Advocate of cultural competency and equity in education

Rebekah Kim remembers the experience of feeling like an outsider when she was a student. Having grown up in predominantly Caucasian towns, Kim, a Korean-American, said she was no stranger to being the recipient of racial tokenism and discriminatory remarks when she was younger.

Now a principal at Marvista Elementary School, Kim said she draws upon these experiences in her work as an educator. “I always remember where I came from when thinking about students,” she said.

Kim recently started her third year as principal at the Normandy Park school. On top of pushing for strong academic work from her students, Kim has another goal – boost cultural competency among instructors.

An advocate for cultural competency and equity in education, Kim has focused much of her career on these issues. They were the focus of her Master of Education at the University of Washington. As a teacher in the Tukwila School District and a principal intern at Aki Kurose Middle School and John Stanford International School, she witnessed economic, language and other inequities among her students, she said. In response, she led a cultural competency professional development program and created a cultural competency rubric.

Now, she’s part of the Highline School District’s Cultural Competency Committee and teaches cultural competency workshops to instructors from her school and around the district.

The workshops focus on making educators self-aware of their own backgrounds, privileges and stereotypes before looking at those of students, Kim said. “Otherwise, it’s not meaningful,” she said.

In the long run, the committee plans to train all district staff members, Kim said.

Her own experiences growing up instilled a passion to reject insensitivity to diversity, according to Kim. “That passion just grew as I went to college,” she said.

In the long run, she hopes to see more Asian American leaders in education. “It’s important for students to see leaders who look like them and teachers who look like them,” she said.

Kim is part of a generation of younger educators who are starting to replace retiring baby boomer principals, said BiHoa Caldwell, former principal at Aki Kurose, who described Kim as an energetic and caring educator.

In her early 30s, Kim may be younger than most principals, but her goals aren’t much different. She said she hopes to make Marvista an effective place of learning where her 550 students don’t get lost academically and also a place that holds high expectations for all students, she said.

Kim didn’t always strive to be in education. She started off pursuing a career in broadcast journalism, she said. But her father encouraged her to pursue education because of her love for children, Kim said. And she’s been at it since. “I fell in love with teaching and I knew it was my calling,” Kim said.

We thank Rebekah for allowing us to take a look into her life. If you have any questions for Rebekah, please leave a comment. She'd like to share more topics that you'd be interested in reading about - on the education system and learning. We can't wait to hear from you!

If you'd like to share your story with our Korean American Community,
Please email: [email protected]

Our Little "Miracle" :: Part Two

By: Jennie Won Kim   |    Read "Our Little 'Miracle' :: Part One

Jennie with her husband Peter in South Korea


Together in South Korea

Now as I mentioned before, we were going back and forth to the doctors.  The doctors started me on clomid (an oral hormone pill you take to stimulate your follicles) and decided that we should start with IUI (Intrauterine Insemination).  IUI is when you're ovulating and they take your husband's swimmers, "wash" them, and insert them inside you at that perfect moment!  If you're wondering what sperm washing is, it's basically when they take the best sperm and separate the good from the bad.  They take the best ones and "inject" them inside the woman using a very thin catheter.  During a typical month, you start clomid, go in to check your follicles (potential eggs) and get them measured with the oh so lovely "probe" to make sure that they are growing.  You continue to go in every couple days, get your follicles measured again and when they seem just large enough, you go home and inject yourself (which my husband always did) with hCG to force ovulation (causing the eggs to emerge from the follicles).  You go in the following morning to be inseminated.  Then you go home and just hope and pray that it worked and you can take a pregnancy test two weeks later. 

Depending on how many mature follicles you have, you are always warned that you can become pregnant with multiples because in a matter of 24 hours you can release one egg or several, you just don't know and for those of you wondering, yes, this is what John and Kate did to get their eight children, but no, not what Octomom did, two totally different procedures.  Octomom did IVF (In Vitro Fertilization).

So... January 2005, I was taking another pregnancy test, as I had done so frequently.  There was something wrong with this test, something was different, there was a faint pink line in the second window.  My mind went into a whirlwind, what in the world... could it be???  I tested again and again there was that same faint line.  Why couldn't it be bright pink like the control line?  All of a sudden I was second guessing myself wondering if I even knew how to take a home pregnancy test that I read the directions again and again.  I was anxious, heart racing, nervous laughing, palms sweating... could it be???  I called my husband and the words came rushing out of my mouth incoherently, he told me not to get my hopes up as I did every month and when he came home, he wanted to see the proof.  He too was in shock, he wanted to read the directions as well and asked if I had taken the test correctly.  We were both so excited, we called the doctor and had a blood test done to confirm the pregnancy. 

YES!  It finally happened!  We savored the moment and started discussing names and themes and how to break this long awaited news to the family.  We visited my mom for her birthday and surprised her with the news by presenting her with an "I love Grandma" photo frame.  She was of course overjoyed and now we just had to figure out how we were going to tell my in laws.  I was beyond ecstatic, I immediately shared the news with my close friends and even started telling random people that I was expecting.  Now that we were finally pregnant, we were breathing a sigh of relief.

Four days before my very first prenatal appointment, it was a typical Thursday morning and as usual I was in the classroom teaching when I started to feel this strange subtle cramping.  Hmmm... I was told that was typical, cramping was normal.  I continued to teach the rest of the morning and walked my students to lunch.  As I tried to walk to the office, I could sense that something wasn't right.  The cramps were more intense and it was difficult to walk.  Immediately I went to the restroom and was horrified.  This can't be normal!  I started to cry and tremble uncontrollably.  I didn't know what to do.  I tried calling my husband several times, he wasn't answering.  I called the doctor and they immediately scheduled me for an appointment for that afternoon.  I continued to try and call my husband and finally got a hold of him and told him to meet me at home.  I found the closest person in the office and told her what was happening, she ran to my classroom, grabbed my purse and keys, and I left my students without explanation and drove home in tears.

I went home, changed my clothes, and waited for my husband.  As soon as he arrived we went to the doctor's and they immediately drew some blood and did an ultrasound.  There was nothing on the screen!  The baby that I had already loved so dearly was nowhere to be seen.  Despite what we didn't see on the ultrasound, I was still hopeful.  The doctor had given me a tiny glimmer of hope, she said that we still had to wait for the blood test to be certain and it might still be too early and that sometimes you can't see the fetus on the ultrasound this early on.  I held on to those words and we both prayed for our baby!  I was trying to convince myself that this happens to other women and their babies are fine.  I mean, how could I get pregnant after all that we've been through only to lose it!  That would be too cruel! 

We went home and wept as we lay together on the couch just wondering and questioning, "How could this happen?"  "Didn't we deserve this baby?"  "How could God give us this miracle only to take him or her away?"  I was partly in shock and partly still hopeful... being hopeful was the only way that I would be able to get through the rest of the night.

I stayed home the next day and waited for the call.  Finally the phone rang and the voice on the other end said, "I'm sorry to say that your hCG levels have dropped significantly."  I stayed in bed that day and all weekend long.  This was a sadness and devastation that I have never experienced.  The same questions kept running through my mind...

Here we were, starting the journey again, more IUI's and more tests.  Each and every time we were still very hopeful.  We got pregnant once and now knew that at least we could get pregnant.  We just had to replicate the same dosage, the same procedures and it would happen for sure.  It wasn't happening...  after several more attempts we weren't getting pregnant so, the doctors decided to add another drug on top of the clomid, Menopur, this was a solution that had to be mixed and injected.  Ugh, I really hate needles!  Gosh, why do I have to get poked and prodded all the time and all my husband has to do is pass along his little swimmers.  Somehow this seemed unfair!!!  I suppose this is part of that same curse of being a woman.

Again, we were trying another two years and still no baby.  I have to admit, that over the course of the years, my emotions were like a swinging pendulum.  At any given moment I was hopeful and eager and then bitter and angry.  We went through months of trying and then months where we just couldn't handle it and wanted to give up.  This cycle repeated for years.  As crazy as I felt on the inside, I am not one who likes to get all emotional in front of others.  I didn't really discuss the details of my infertility with too many people because I was tired of explaining what we were doing.  I had met a couple of other women who were struggling and I leaned on them for support.  It was nice to have someone understand what you were going through.  Someone who you could talk to without constantly explaining every procedure and every emotion.  My friends were supportive and tried to understand, but it was just too complicated to explain.

Since I was at that child bearing age, obviously my friends were too.  I attended and hosted numerous baby showers, watched my girlfriends and fellow co-workers get pregnant and continue to get pregnant.  Slowly it started to get to me, it was so difficult to go to the showers and meet all the new babies.  Getting together with my friends became even more awkward, they all discussed baby topics and all I could do was sit there with a smile on my face and just nod along while on the inside I just wanted explode.  I didn't want to be that "person" who couldn't be around babies or pregnant women.  I wanted to celebrate with my girlfriends and wish them well. 

Pregnancy is a wonderful thing and I wanted to be there to support them and love them in the process. I didn't want to ruin their moment just because I was "broken" and couldn't have the same experience.  That wouldn't be fair to them.  I wanted to be normal and not let my situation affect those around me.  I tried really hard to put on my brave face and act as if nothing was wrong.  All the while on the inside, yes, I felt as if there was this enormous hole that was never going to be filled.  There were some days I would just stay in bed all day and try to sleep away the sadness. 

My poor husband watched helplessly wanting somehow to help me, but there was nothing that he could do.  I couldn't understand why, it just wasn't fair!  I felt like a little child pouting, feeling that it was so unfair and cruel that I had this desire to have children and not being able to.  I used to pray for a baby and then my prayer changed, I started to pray that my desire to be a mommy would be gone.  That would solve everything, if I didn't want children, then all would be solved.  I tried to convince myself and actually started to say it out loud. 

When people would ask why we weren't pregnant, I would smile and just say that I didn't like children.  Unfortunately, this did not work.  No matter how many times I said it and how many times I tried to convince myself, the desire was still there.  All we wanted was a baby!!!

Finally, so tired of all the hormones, the pills, the shots, the appointments, the side effects from all the drugs... I told my husband that I couldn't do it anymore.  I was emotionally spent and becoming a mad woman.  We needed to seek other alternatives.

What alternatives were there?  I wanted to go to a new clinic and get other opinions.  I wanted to try IVF.  I wanted to adopt.  I wanted to be a foster mom.  I want to be a mommy!!!

(to be continued)

Our Little "Miracle" :: Part One

By: Jennie Won Kim

Infertility, a word that not many think about unless you are affected by it or know someone close to you that is struggling with it.  Like many, I never imagined that I would become so familiar with this word.  No one expects that they will struggle to have a child, when there is so much attention out there to prevent pregnancies you assume that it's easier to get pregnant than not.  Pregnancy is truly a difficult feat, the fact that an egg and sperm can meet and create a human being is such a miraculous event.  Many don't realize how hard your body has to work to accomplish this perfectly timed event to create something so precious and beautiful. 

Here's our story on how we finally had our little "miracle"...

Photo of Jennie and her husband in Hawaii.

I always imagined life with a house full of children and busy event filled weekends.  I wanted 3-4 children, a large home to accommodate them, a profession in which I could be home with them on holidays and summer vacation, live in the suburbs, drive a large car, basically become a typical suburban mom.  So, I became a teacher, got married, bought a home with 5 bedrooms and a large backyard, bought a SUV, and just waited for the children to follow.  Did I mention that I'm a planner?  Yes, I had planned my life's events and was hoping that God would allow it to all happen according to my plan.

As part of the plan, I was about to get married and thought it would be wise to go see my OB and get a prescription for birth control.  We didn't want to get pregnant right away, perhaps two years into our marriage after some traveling.  We were married in January 2000 and I started the pill a month prior to my wedding.  My body decided that it would not agree with the pill and I had side effect after side effect which did not make for a fun honeymoon.  So after being on it about 3 months, I stopped and we figured other ways to "not get pregnant".  A little less than two years had passed and we decided that it was time to start "trying".  I expected that we would be pregnant in a matter of months.  Why wouldn't I think this, everyone in my family had children very easily.  There was no reason for me to think that I wouldn't have the same success.  To my surprise, it wasn't happening.  Remember my plan, yup, I was a little irritated that my body wasn't listening and wouldn't follow "the plan!"  Still, we kept trying.  Not to mention the constant comments from in-laws and relatives about when we were going to have a baby.  Korean elders are infamous for being candid and saying whatever is on their minds, so you can imagine the kinds of comments we've heard over the years about getting pregnant and all the things that we should be doing to all the the things that we were doing wrong.  You name it, we've heard it all!  

2003 and still no baby!  You've heard the stories about your girlfriends and friends of friends that get pregnant on a whim without trying and the "oops" baby that came along so, why weren't we getting pregnant.  What were we doing wrong?  I started my research and tried to follow all sorts of calendars, taking my temperature, timing it perfectly with ovulation, different positions, different times of the day, different foods, supplements, relaxing, going on vacations, exercising more, exercising less...  the list of suggestions were endless.  Anything that was suggested we tried!  Now we were really starting to worry.  I finally went to the doctor after year and a half of "trying to conceive".  First, you have a typical exam with some blood tests to check your hormone levels.  My levels seemed fine.  Next was to check my husband's little swimmers.  They seemed fine.  Now when I say fine, there is broad range of "fine".  For example, your levels can be anywhere from 50-200 and as long as you fall into that range, you're told you're fine.  Oh and not to mention that each time you test, your levels can fluctuate, but still you're told it's fine. 

So... here we were still not pregnant and trying another year, we went through some more tests.  Apparently when women were cursed with labor pains there must have been a clause that also included pains associated with infertility.  It's the woman who has to go through a series of exams and tests which range from uncomfortable to pretty painful.  For starters, there is the wonderful ultrasound probe that many of us must try to get used to each and every time we have a doctor's visit, ugh!!!  Constantly having your blood drawn that the inside of my elbows bruised from the techs looking for the "right" vein (by the way, I hate needles).  The dye test to check if your fallopian tubes are open, which is pretty painful.  Oh, did I mention the ultrasound probe, no matter how many times I've had that done (which is a lot over the years) I still can't get used to it and it's still awful!  With all of these tests and exams, still there was no conclusive reason as to why we weren't getting pregnant.  We fell into the category of "unexplained infertility"!  I wanted an explanation and I wanted to be able to fix whatever the problem was and move on!  Not having a definite answer to this problem drove my husband and myself crazy.  Not to mention the friends and family endlessly asking what was wrong.  We had no answers.  At least if there was a cause we could either try to fix the problem or make peace with the issue and move on.  BUT NO..., there was no answer and all we could do was keep trying and continue going back to the doctors. 

During the course of all this trying, we were also given LOTS of unsolicited advice from the couples who already had children.  I suppose that once you get pregnant, that automatically qualifies them as the baby making pros.  People wanted to share what worked for them, just to give you an idea of what we were told, "Drinking orange juice everyday helped us get pregnant" or "We went on vacation and came back pregnant" and the most infamous advice was "You just need to RELAX."  Oh this evil word!  It started to become a word that I detest and did not ever want to hear again.  If I could get a dollar every time someone told me to "RELAX" I would have enough money to retire.  Countless times, when people knew you were trying to get pregnant, their advice was to "RELAX."  I don't know how many times I've tried to relax, but apparently my definition of relax must be different from everyone else's  because relaxing didn't work!  Can you sense my dislike for this word!

A bit of advice for those of you who may know someone trying to conceive, DO NOT tell them to relax.  No matter how you say it, it's demeaning.  If you can't think of anything else to say, say nothing at all.

I could probably come up with a book of all the advice I've received and have just two chapters, "What NOT to say" and "What you SHOULD say".

So here we were in the year 2005 and still waiting to conceive...

{ Click to Contine to Part Two}

:: KAM Freebie Friday Contest :: Gum Drops Hair Candy

One lucky Korean American Mommies fan from Facebook. Winner will receive a HAIRBAND of their choice from www.GumDropsHairCandy.com.
Ends tonight April 9, 2010 at midnight PT.
To enter - leave a 'comment' to this question either on our KAM wall or KOKOliving.com.

"What is your all time favorite SWEET TREAT?"

Freshop's Eco-Tips Contest

How can you do your part to save the Earth? 
To celebrate the 40th Anniversary of Earth Day (April 22), Freshop is holding its first Earth Day Eco-Tips Contest! We are seeking fun and unique ideas that can be applied to our daily lives. Parents are especially cognizant of being stewards of our planet for future generations. If you have any tips or ideas that you use everyday to help the earth, share with other parents and fans on our Fan page and be eligible for a great prize!

Simply post on Freshop's Facebook Fan page Earth Day Note / Comment Section. Our purpose is to educate, share information, and put these ideas to work!

The Prize: 
$50 worth of eco-friendly and organic products from Freshop.com! The Prize will go to what we think is the most creative and fun idea. The contest ends on 6 PM (PST) April 20. The winner will be announced on April 22, 2010 on our Freshop's Facebook Fan page.

One Idea:
We collect gently used shipping boxes from our vendors, neighbors, friends and family. We turn them inside out and reuse them to ship out most orders to our customers. We also collect and save packing materials, paper, tissues, and reuse them for our own deliveries.