By: Lisa H.
I swear being a parent is one of the most difficult jobs on the planet. It can be the most rewarding with hard work…sometimes luck too, but it comes with a lot of fear and anxiety at times.
I worry about my kids 24/7. I have great kids; I know this. I get told how well-behaved my kids are, yet sometimes I think “yikes they just did what?” You know….sometimes your kids do these small, insignificant, embarrassing things that you would laugh at if it were your friend’s child. All-in-all they’re very good.
Those days that Cole calls after school to say he got his name on the board for talking or one of them got a bad grade on something at school feel so bad. A parent can’t help but take it personally. I do anyways, for a bit. Some days I feel bad for days and some days I’m able to think about it, reasonably, and realize it’s not my fault. I try so hard to realize they’re going to have to learn from these mistakes. I have made transitions over the years. I do try to control too much in my life and as I get older I’m realizing that I can’t. So, right at this very second ….. thump thump goes my heart …. our oldest has a D in a class. This is not from not getting it, it’s from messing around and instead of protecting him we’re trying to let him learn. You see, we have a rule in our house. You must have a semester grade of 82% or better to participate in activities outside of school. While it’s good to participate in extracurricular activities, school always comes first. And, while my 2 that get letter grades are more than capable of straight A’s we try not to put so much pressure on them that they give up. Our oldest is the type to do that. I want them to want it. We also pay as an extra incentive, but ONLY for straight A’s, for the entire semester. Chase will bust it to get that money. So far he still has straight A’s for the year.
These are the struggles of being a parent. Trying not to take everything they do or say so personally. Especially, now that we’re entering teen years for one as another enters his tweens. Yikes….all at once! Yes, by the end of the year we will have had 3 major birthdays…we will have a 13, 10, 8, 5 and 2 year old. As I watch other parents discuss the issues they think are so difficult with their 4 and 2 year olds, etc. I think, to myself, they have no idea what’s coming. I thought the same thing when I was at their parenting age. But, with age of the child comes more homework, more parent involvement in some ways while letting go in others, along with more responsibility, emotions, hormones, independence yet quiet neediness. I wouldn’t give up any of it for a second, but it’s a hard balance with work on top of it.
So hopefully, my little talks with each one, one-on-one, continues to be effective, continues to keep the respect from them, etc. Hopefully, if we continue our relationships with them, as we have been, they will continue to talk to us and love us. For now, I have 5 kids that all still give hugs and kisses goodnight and say “I love you” when getting out of the van at school. I’ll take this. And on my very worst days when I feel like a bad mom for whatever may have developed that morning, in our rush, I have my little Jaemin to make me feel better that night and make me feel like someone’s top A lister. So I may have 5 kids with 10 personalities, but I LOVE every second. There are way too many rewards to say it's not worth it!
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