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Margie

Lisa, I'm an adoptive mom who's a little further along in the process - my Korean kids aren't kids anymore, they're grown, 22 and 20.

This sentence grabbed me: "I guess, part of me wants to say I'm sorry for being here and offending anyone who thinks I do not belong because "I" am white."

I think the fact that you are thinking about this says that you are tuned into the racial dynamics of adopting from Korea. We adoptive parents won't be accepted by everyone in the Korean community. The shame of adoption, the notion that we white folks come in a "save" the Korean children, the mess we make with our inauthentic culture, the fact that our kids don't know proper Korean manners, our inability to speak Korean - I could go on and on, but you get the picture.

The fact is, though, that we don't need to be accepted. I would even go so far as to say that our families don't need to be accepted. But by being here, or in whatever Korean community you may belong to, we give our kids connections that they will own long after they're launched.

Looking forward to more of your posts.

Lisa

Thanks Margie. I know we don't need to be accepted and I'm getting better at understanding that in life, in general, but I do get hurt to think that my babies may not be accepted because of us. Like I said, I will never apologize for adoption them. But, I hate that their circumstances may have set them up for this. Knowing of course that this can happen to any of us for a number of reasons in life. Just so hard when they're your babies.

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